8 Ways to Say "Sorry" in Chinese (and when to use them)

In any language, apologising is an important art. While "Duìbuqǐ" (对不起) is the most direct way to say sorry in Chinese, there are various ways to express an apology depending on the situation, ranging from a slight "excuse me" to deep regret. Understanding these nuances will help you express your apologies more accurately and appropriately in Chinese conversations.

Understanding the Nuances of Apology

1. 对不起 (Duìbuqǐ) – The Most General and Direct Apology

Meaning: Sorry / I apologise.
Usage: This is the most common and direct way to apologise, suitable for most situations, whether it's a minor oversight (such as accidentally bumping into someone) or a more serious mistake.
When to use: Any situation requiring an apology.
Example: “对不起，我来晚了。” (Sorry, I'm late.)

2. 抱歉 (Bàoqiàn) – A Slightly More Formal Apology

Meaning: Sorry / Regret.
Usage: Slightly more formal than "Duìbuqǐ", often used in written language or more formal settings. It can also convey regret.
When to use: Formal occasions, written communication, or expressing regret.
Example: “对此给您带来的不便，我们深表抱歉。” (We deeply apologise for the inconvenience caused.)

3. 不好意思 (Bù hǎoyìsi) – Slight Apology or Interruption

Meaning: Excuse me / I'm sorry / I feel embarrassed.
Usage: Expresses a slight apology, embarrassment, or is used when you're causing a minor inconvenience or interrupting. It's often used when asking for help or interjecting.
When to use: Causing slight inconvenience, interrupting others, asking for help.
Example: “不好意思，请问洗手间在哪儿？” (Excuse me, where is the restroom?)

Expressing Deeper Regret

4. 实在抱歉 (Shízài bàoqiàn) / 万分抱歉 (Wànfēn bàoqiàn) – Extremely Sorry

Meaning: Truly sorry / Extremely sorry.
Usage: Emphasises the degree of apology, signifying profound regret.
When to use: When you've made a relatively serious mistake or caused significant trouble for the other person.
Example: “实在抱歉，我把你的文件弄丢了。” (I'm truly sorry, I lost your document.)

5. 我的错 (Wǒ de cuò) – Admitting Fault

Meaning: My fault.
Usage: Directly admits it's your mistake, typically with a sincere tone.
When to use: Admitting you've made a mistake and are willing to take responsibility.
Example: “对不起，这是我的错，我不该那样说。” (Sorry, it's my fault, I shouldn't have said that.)

6. 请原谅 (Qǐng yuánliàng) – Asking for Forgiveness

Meaning: Please forgive me.
Usage: After apologising, you further request the other person's forgiveness.
When to use: After making a mistake, hoping for the other person's understanding.
Example: “我不是故意的，请原谅我。” (I didn't do it on purpose, please forgive me.)

Apologising for Causing Trouble

7. 给你添麻烦了 (Gěi nǐ tiān máfan le) – I've Caused You Trouble

Meaning: I've caused you trouble/inconvenience.
Usage: Expresses that your actions have caused trouble or inconvenience for the other person.
When to use: When your actions have caused inconvenience or extra work for others.
Example: “真不好意思，给你添麻烦了。” (I'm really sorry, I've caused you trouble.)

8. 我错了 (Wǒ cuò le) – Admitting Mistake and Repentance

Meaning: I was wrong.
Usage: A more direct tone, usually used to admit a mistake and express repentance. It's often used by younger people to elders, or in intimate relationships.
When to use: Admitting a mistake and expressing willingness to correct it.
Example: “妈妈，我错了，下次再也不敢了。” (Mum, I was wrong, I won't dare to do it again next time.)

Mastering these ways to apologise will allow you to handle various situations more gracefully in Chinese conversations and maintain good relationships. Remember, a sincere apology is always the most important thing.