Why do your Thai colleagues always say "okay" (krap/ka) and then nothing happens?

Have you ever found yourself in this situation?

You enthusiastically put forward a proposal to your Thai colleague or partner. They smile, nod, and politely say "okay" (ครับ/ค่ะ, krap/ka). You think to yourself, "Fantastic, that's sorted!"

However, days pass and the project makes no progress whatsoever. You go back to ask, and they greet you with the same innocent smile. You start to question everything: are they just humoring me? Or did they not understand at all?

Don't jump to conclusions. You might not have encountered an "unreliable" employee, but rather, you haven't tuned into the correct "cultural channel".

The real code of communication is hidden beyond language

We often think that mastering a foreign language grants us a universal key to communication. But a leading cross-cultural consultant shared a powerful insight: language is merely the surface layer of communication; the true code lies within culture.

Imagine communication is like listening to the radio.

You have a top-of-the-range receiver (your language ability) that can pick up various signals (words and sentences). But if you don't know which "channel" the other person is broadcasting on, all you'll ever hear is static, or you'll completely misunderstand.

In Thailand, this core cultural channel is called “เกรงใจ” (Kreng Jai).

This word is difficult to translate directly. It encapsulates a blend of "consideration, politeness, not wanting to bother others, and respect". In this cultural context, direct refusal or raising objections is considered highly impolite, even aggressive.

So, when your Thai colleague says "okay (krap/ka)", on their "Kreng Jai" channel, the true meaning is:

• "I've heard you, I've received your message." (But this doesn't mean I agree)
• "I don't want to cause you to lose face, so I'm giving you a polite response for now." (As for whether it can be done, I need to go back and think about it)
• "I have some concerns, but it's not convenient to express them directly right now."

See? What you thought was "Yes" was actually just a "Message Received". You might be speaking the same language, yet it's as if you're living in two parallel worlds.

How to tune into the correct "cultural channel"?

So, how can you break through this "polite silence" and hear what they truly think? The consultant shared a case study he worked on for a large airline.

The foreign executives at this company faced the same issue: they repeatedly emphasised, "my office door is always open," yet local employees never proactively provided feedback. The executives felt that the employees lacked a willingness to communicate.

However, the consultant pointed out incisively: the problem wasn't the employees; it was the method of communication.

For employees deeply influenced by "Kreng Jai" culture, walking directly into the boss's office to "give their opinion" was an enormous risk. They feared embarrassing their boss and worried about getting into trouble themselves.

Consequently, the consultant established an anonymous feedback channel. Employees could submit any problems, concerns, or suggestions through this secure "confidential outlet". The consultant would then compile these and report them to management.

The result? Feedback poured in like a tide. Problems that had previously been hidden by "silence" all surfaced.

This story teaches us three simple tuning tips:

1. Learn to "listen" to silence. In Thai culture, silence and hesitation aren't a sign of "no ideas," but a strong signal indicating "there's an issue here that needs your attention and resolution." When someone is silent, what you should do is not rush them, but create a safer environment and use a more indirect approach to understand their concerns.

2. Create a safe "confidential outlet". Instead of asking employees to "be brave," build them a safe bridge. Whether it's an anonymous suggestion box or designating an intermediary, the key is to make them feel that expressing their true thoughts carries "zero risk".

3. Don't rely on just one source of information. If you only understand the situation through your translator or secretary, the information you receive is likely to have been "filtered" and "sanitised". Proactively reach out and build connections with people at different levels and in different departments to piece together the complete picture. That's how you truly understand the market, rather than living in an information filter bubble.

Language is the starting point, connection is the destination

Ultimately, the goal of learning a language isn't just to add another skill to your CV; it's to build genuine and deep connections with people from another part of the world.

Merely mastering vocabulary and grammar is like only knowing how to type on a keyboard but not how to get online. Understanding culture, however, is the internet cable that helps you connect to the internet and see the wider world.

Of course, before deeply understanding every culture, we need a tool to initiate that first conversation. In the past, language barriers were the biggest obstacle. But now, smart chat apps like Intent, with their powerful built-in AI translation features, allow you to easily start conversations with anyone, anywhere in the world. They break down the initial language barrier for you, giving you the opportunity to build broader networks and personally experience those cultural nuances that cannot be learned from books.

Next time you're preparing to enter a new market or collaborate with partners from different cultural backgrounds, remember:

Don't just ask, "What did they say?" Instead, ask, "What did they not say?"

When you can understand the language behind the silence, you will have mastered the true art of cross-cultural communication.