Why, After Ten Years of Studying a Foreign Language, Do You Still Struggle to Speak?
Have you ever had this experience?
After years of studying a foreign language, memorising vocabulary lists inside out, and knowing grammar rules backwards and forwards. But the moment a foreigner stands in front of you, you're instantly tongue-tied, with only an awkward 'Hello, how are you?' echoing in your mind.
Or, you manage to pluck up the courage to exchange a few words, but the conversation always feels like it's happening through frosted glass – you can see the other person, but you can't feel the real warmth. You're 'exchanging information' rather than 'communicating emotions'.
Why is this the case? The problem isn't that your vocabulary is insufficient, nor that you haven't mastered the grammar. The issue is that many of us make a fundamental mistake when learning a language.
You're just memorising a recipe, but you've never tasted the dish
Imagine learning a language is like learning to cook an exotic dish.
How do most people approach it? They'll find a detailed recipe, listing: '3 tomatoes, 1 onion, 2 cloves of garlic, 5g salt...' They meticulously memorise these 'ingredients' (words) and 'steps' (grammar), believing that by strictly following them, they'll create a delicious meal.
But what's the result? The dish always feels like it's 'missing something'. It might be technically perfect, but it lacks soul.
Because we've overlooked the most crucial element – culture.
Culture is the soul of that dish. It tells you why locals use certain spices over others, the festive stories behind the cuisine, and the moods in which people share it. Without understanding these, you're merely a cook following instructions, not an artist who can convey emotion through food.
Language is the same. Culture is the soul of language. It explains why people speak the way they do, where their sense of humour comes from, which topics are safe, and which are sensitive. It determines whether you're stiffly 'translating' words and phrases, or truly connecting with another person through language.
How to truly 'taste' a language?
Stop fixating on the recipe. To truly master a language, you need to step into its 'kitchen' and experience its everyday vibrancy.
1. Live at their pace, not just celebrate festivals
We all know Christmas and Halloween. But that's like only knowing that Chinese cuisine has 'Spring Festival' – it's nowhere near enough.
Try to learn about those more 'niche' festivals. For instance, Mexico's Day of the Dead (Día de los Muertos), where people don't mourn but celebrate life with songs and dances. Or Spain's La Tomatina, where thousands throw tomatoes at each other in the streets.
When you start caring about these unique cultural moments, you're no longer an outsider. You begin to understand the rhythm of their lives and the ebb and flow of their emotions. This will bring you closer to them than memorising a hundred words ever could.
2. Immerse yourself in their daily lives, discuss what truly matters to them
Who's your favourite singer? What series are you currently binging? What do you like to eat at the weekend?
These seemingly ordinary questions are the best carriers of culture. A country's music, films, and food embody their truest joys, sorrows, and values.
Stop limiting conversations to 'how's the weather?'. Go listen to Spanish flamenco guitar, feel its passion and sorrow; watch how Argentinians go wild for football, and understand that sense of national pride.
Of course, discussing these topics with a new acquaintance might feel a bit clunky due to language and cultural differences. At such times, a good tool can help you break the ice. For example, a chat app like Intent, with its built-in AI translation, enables seamless communication with people from any corner of the world. When you come across a colloquialism or cultural reference, it can help you understand it in real-time, preventing the conversation from stalling and allowing you to truly immerse yourself in the other person's world, rather than just lingering at the doorway.
3. Listen to their stories, not your translations
Find a book written by an author from that country, or a film directed by someone from there, and settle down to experience it from beginning to end.
Note, not the 'simplified readers' adapted for language learning, but stories they've written for themselves.
In the stories of Argentinian writer Borges, you'll discover a nation's philosophical contemplation of time and destiny. In the films of Spanish director Almodóvar, you'll see the intense, complex, and vibrant emotional world of ordinary people.
These stories will give you a profound insight that textbooks simply cannot provide. They'll make you understand that behind every word you learn stands a living person and a real history.
Stop 'studying' language as if it were a chore to complete.
Language isn't a subject to conquer; it's a gateway to a new world. Its ultimate purpose isn't to score high marks on an exam, but to be able to sit down and truly chat with another interesting person.
From today, put down your 'recipe' and start truly 'tasting'. You'll find that once you begin to understand the culture behind the language, those words and grammar rules that once gave you headaches will naturally come alive, and you'll finally be able to speak up with confidence.