Why, after studying a foreign language for so long, are you still afraid to speak?
Are you like this too?
You’ve studied a foreign language for months, even years. Your vocabulary books are worn out, you’ve memorised grammar points thoroughly, and you’ve accumulated a stack of green ticks on language apps. But the moment you actually need to open your mouth, you instantly ‘turn to stone’.
The little theatre in your mind starts playing out wildly: “What if I make a mistake?” “How do you say that word? Oh no, I’m stuck…” “Will the other person think I’m stupid?”
This feeling is heartbreaking. We’ve invested a huge amount of time, yet we’re stuck at the very last, and most crucial, step: speaking.
So, what’s the real problem?
Today, I want to share a simple analogy with you that might completely change your perspective on ‘speaking a foreign language’.
Learning a foreign language is actually like learning to swim
Imagine you’ve never been in the water, yet you’re determined to learn to swim.
So you buy a pile of books, study Michael Phelps’s swimming technique, and memorise all the theories about buoyancy, stroking, and breathing. You can even perfectly draw every single movement of the freestyle stroke on paper.
Now, you feel ready. You walk to the edge of the pool, look at the clear water, but hesitate to jump in.
Why? Because you know that no matter how perfect the theory, your first time in the water will inevitably involve swallowing water, choking, and your technique will definitely not be pretty.
We treat foreign languages like that person standing at the edge of the pool. We view ‘speaking’ as a final performance, rather than a practice session in the water.
We always want to wait until we can ‘swim beautifully’ like a native speaker before we open our mouths. The result is, we forever remain on the shore.
This is the real reason we’re afraid to speak: we’re afraid of making mistakes, afraid of imperfection, afraid of ‘making a fool of ourselves’ in front of others.
But the truth is, no swimming champion didn’t start by choking on their first mouthful of water. Similarly, no one fluent in a foreign language didn’t start by uttering their first clumsy phrase.
So, forget about ‘performing’; embrace ‘practising’. Here are three ways to help you ‘jump into the water’ straight away – simple, yet extremely effective.
Step One: Start splashing in the ‘shallow end’ – Talk to yourself
Who says you have to find a native speaker to practise with? When you’re not ready to face an ‘audience’, the best practice partner is yourself.
This might sound a bit silly, but the results are astonishing.
Find a time that’s just for you, like when you’re showering or going for a walk. Just for 5 minutes each day, use the foreign language you’re learning to describe what’s happening around you, or what’s on your mind.
- “The weather is good today. I like blue sky.”
- “This coffee smells good. I need coffee.”
- “Work is a bit tiring. I want to watch a film.”
See? You don’t need any complex sentence structures or advanced vocabulary. The key is to get your brain used to ‘organising’ and ‘outputting’ information in another language, even the simplest information.
This is like being in the shallow end of the pool, where the water only reaches your waist. You can splash around as much as you like, completely without worrying about what others think. This process is safe, stress-free, and helps you build the most basic ‘feel for the water’ – or rather, a feel for the language.
Step Two: Forget the ‘perfect stroke’, just ‘stay afloat’ – Communication > Performance
Okay, once you’ve adjusted to the shallow end, you’ll naturally want to try a slightly deeper area. At this point, you might get into the water with a friend.
Your worst fear happens: you get nervous, forget all your movements, your limbs are uncoordinated, and you swallow a mouthful of water. You feel extremely embarrassed.
But does your friend care? No, they only care that you’re safe and that you’re moving forward. They won’t mock you because your technique isn’t perfect.
It’s the same when speaking a foreign language with someone. The core of communication is ‘conveying information’, not ‘performing perfectly’.
When you’re communicating with someone, what they truly care about is ‘what you said’, not ‘whether your grammar is wrong or your pronunciation is imperfect’. Your nervousness, your pursuit of perfection, are actually all just your own ‘internal drama’.
Let go of that burden of ‘having to perform perfectly’. When you stop agonising over the correctness of every word and instead focus on ‘making your meaning clear’, you’ll find that language suddenly ‘flows’ from your mouth.
Of course, the fear still exists when moving from ‘talking to yourself’ to ‘communicating with others’. What if you don’t understand what the other person is saying, or you get stuck?
This is like having a lifebuoy with you when you enter the water. If you’re looking for an absolutely safe ‘practice pool’, you can try Intent. It’s a chat app with built-in AI translation, allowing you to communicate stress-free with people all over the world. When you’re mid-conversation and suddenly can’t recall a word, or don’t understand what the other person said, a single tap brings up an accurate translation instantly. It’s like your personal ‘language airbag’, allowing you to focus all your energy on ‘communication’ itself, rather than on the fear of the unknown.
Step Three: Learn the ‘doggy paddle’ first – Simplify your expression
No one learning to swim starts with the butterfly stroke. We all begin with the simplest ‘doggy paddle’. It might not look pretty, but it keeps you from sinking and allows you to move forward.
It’s the same with language.
As adults, we always want to sound mature and profound when expressing ourselves, always wanting to translate complex Chinese sentences in our minds verbatim. The result is, we get trapped by our own complex thoughts.
Remember this principle: Use simple words and phrases that you can manage to express complex ideas.
You want to say: “I’ve really had a day of ups and downs today, and my emotions are complicated.” But you don’t know how to say “ups and downs”. No problem, simplify it! “Today was busy. Happy in the morning. Not happy in the afternoon. Tired now.”
Does this sound like ‘Tarzan English’? No problem! It 100% conveys your core meaning, and you’ve successfully communicated. This is a million times better than saying nothing because you’re striving for ‘fidelity, expressiveness, and elegance’.
First learn to build a simple house with building blocks, then slowly learn how to turn it into a castle.
Conclusion
Stop standing at the edge of the pool, feeling intimidated by the skilled swimmers in the water.
Learning a language isn’t a performance waiting for applause; it’s a journey of repeated practice sessions in the water. What you need isn’t more theory, but the courage to ‘jump in’.
From today, forget about perfection; embrace awkwardness.
Go and speak a few simple foreign language phrases to yourself, make some ‘silly’ mistakes, and enjoy that immense sense of achievement that comes from ‘I didn’t say it perfectly, but I made myself understood’.
Every time you open your mouth, it’s a victory. Every time you ‘swallow water’, you get one step closer to ‘swimming freely’.