Why Your Thai Colleagues Always Say 'Yes,' But Then There's No Follow-Up?

Have you ever come across such a situation?

You enthusiastically put forward a proposal to your Thai colleague or partner. They smiled, nodded, and politely said 'Yes' (ครับ/ค่ะ, krap/ka). You thought to yourself, 'Excellent, that's sorted!'

However, days passed, and the project made no headway. When you inquired again, they still met you with an innocent smile. You started to doubt everything: 'Are they just fobbing me off? Or did they not understand at all?'

Don't jump to conclusions. You might not have encountered 'unreliable' employees, but rather, you haven't tuned into the correct 'cultural channel'.

The Real Code of Communication Lies Beyond Language

We often assume that mastering a foreign language gives us the universal key to communication. But a leading cross-cultural consultant shared an insight: Language is merely the surface level of communication; the true code lies hidden within culture.

Imagine communication is like listening to the radio.

You have a top-spec receiver (your language ability) that can pick up various signals (words and sentences). But if you don't know which 'channel' the other person is broadcasting on, you'll only ever hear static, or completely misinterpret the message.

In Thailand, this core cultural channel is called “เกรงใจ” (Kreng Jai).

This term is difficult to directly translate, as it combines multiple meanings such as 'consideration, politeness, not wanting to trouble others, and respect.' In this cultural environment, directly refusing or offering dissenting opinions is considered highly impolite, even aggressive behaviour.

So, when your Thai colleague says 'Yes' (krap/ka), on their 'Kreng Jai' channel, the true meanings are:

• "I have heard and received your message." (But this doesn't mean I agree)
• "I don't want you to lose face, so I'm politely responding to you first." (As for whether it can be done, I need to go back and think about it)
• "I have some concerns, but it's not convenient to state them directly right now."

See? What you perceived as a 'Yes' was merely a 'Message Received.' You might be speaking the same language, yet you seem to be living in two parallel worlds.

How to Tune into the Correct 'Cultural Channel'?

So, how can one break this 'polite silence' and hear the true sentiments? The consultant shared a case study from his work with a major airline.

This company's foreign executives also faced the same issue: they repeatedly stressed, 'My office door is always open,' yet local employees never proactively provided feedback. The executives felt it was due to a lack of communication willingness on the employees' part.

However, the consultant pointed out incisively: The problem was not with the employees, but with the communication method.

For employees deeply influenced by 'Kreng Jai' culture, directly walking into the boss's office to 'offer suggestions' was a huge risk. They feared causing their boss to lose face and also worried about getting into trouble themselves.

Therefore, the consultant established an anonymous feedback channel. Employees could submit any issues, concerns, or suggestions through this safe 'confidential channel.' After compiling them, the consultant would then report them collectively to the management.

And the result? Feedback flooded in. The issues that had once been concealed by 'silence' surfaced one by one.

This story teaches us three simple 'tuning' techniques:

1. Learn to 'listen' to silence. In Thai culture, silence and hesitation are not a sign of 'no ideas,' but rather a strong signal indicating 'there's a problem here that needs your attention and resolution.' When the other person is silent, what you should do is not press them, but create a safer environment and use more subtle ways to understand their concerns.

2. Create safe 'confidential channels'. Instead of asking employees to 'be brave,' it's better to build a safe bridge for them. Whether it's an anonymous drop box or designating an intermediary, the key is to make them feel that expressing their true thoughts is 'zero risk'.

3. Don't solely rely on one information source. If you only understand the situation through your translator or secretary, the information you receive is likely to be 'filtered' and 'sugar-coated.' Proactively step out, connect with people at different levels and departments, and piece together the complete picture. This is how you truly understand the market, rather than living in an information bubble.

Language is the Starting Point; Connection is the Destination

At the end of the day, the ultimate purpose of learning a language isn't just to add another skill line to your resume, but to establish a real and profound connection with people from another world. Merely mastering vocabulary and grammar is like only knowing how to type on a keyboard without knowing how to access the internet. Understanding culture, however, is the internet cable that helps you connect to the web and see the wider world.

Of course, before diving deep into every culture, we need a tool to initiate the first conversation. In the past, language barriers were the biggest obstacle, but now, smart chat apps like Intent, with their powerful built-in AI translation capabilities, allow you to easily strike up conversations with people from any corner of the world. It breaks down the initial language barrier for you, giving you the opportunity to build broader networks and personally experience cultural nuances that cannot be learned from books.

Next time, when you're preparing to enter a new market or collaborate with partners from different cultural backgrounds, remember: Don't just ask, 'What did they say?' but also, 'What did they not say?' When you can understand the language behind silence, you will have mastered the true art of cross-cultural communication.