Why, after Ten Years of Studying a Foreign Language, Do You Still Struggle to Speak It?
Have you ever had such an experience?
After years of studying a foreign language, you've memorised vocabulary lists inside out, and can rattle off grammar rules effortlessly. But the moment a foreigner stands before you, you're instantly tongue-tied, your mind only offering an awkward "Hello, how are you?".
Or, you finally muster the courage to exchange a few words, but the conversation always feels like it's behind frosted glass – you can see the other person, but can't feel the true warmth of connection. You're merely "exchanging information" rather than "connecting emotionally."
Why does this happen? The problem isn't insufficient vocabulary, nor is it that you haven't mastered grammar. The real issue is that many of us, when learning a language, make a fundamental mistake.
You're Just Memorising the Recipe, Without Ever Having Tasted the Dish
Imagine, learning a language is like learning to cook an exotic dish.
How do most people approach it? They'll find a detailed recipe that lists: "3 tomatoes, 1 onion, 2 cloves of garlic, 5 grams of salt..." They memorise these "ingredients" (vocabulary) and "steps" (grammar) perfectly, believing that by following them strictly, they can whip up a delectable meal.
But what's the outcome? The dish they make always feels like it's "missing something." It might be technically sound, but it lacks soul.
Because we've overlooked the most crucial element – culture.
Culture is the soul of this dish. It tells you why locals use a particular spice instead of another, what festive stories lie behind this dish, and in what mood people share it. Without understanding these, you're merely a by-the-book cook, not an artist who can convey emotions through food.
It's the same with language. Culture is the soul of language. It explains why people speak the way they do, where their sense of humour originates, which topics are safe, and which are sensitive. It determines whether you're stiffly "translating" words and phrases or truly connecting with another person through language.
How to Truly "Savour" a Language?
Stop fixating on just the recipes. To truly master a language, you need to step into its "kitchen" and feel its everyday vibrancy.
1. Live by Their Rhythm, Not Just Celebrate Their Festivals
We all know about Christmas and Halloween. But that's like only knowing about "Chinese New Year" when it comes to Chinese cuisine – it's nowhere near enough.
Try to understand those more "niche" festivals. For instance, Mexico's Day of the Dead (Día de los Muertos), where people don't mourn, but celebrate life with song and dance. Or Spain's La Tomatina, where thousands of people pelt each other with tomatoes in the streets.
When you start caring about these unique cultural markers, you'll no longer be an outsider. You'll begin to grasp the rhythm of their lives and the ebb and flow of their emotions. This will bring you closer to them than memorising a hundred words ever could.
2. Dive Into Their Daily Lives, Discuss Topics They Truly Care About
Who's your favourite singer? What series are you currently binge-watching? What do you like to eat on weekends?
These seemingly ordinary questions are the best vehicles for culture. A country's music, films, and food hide their truest emotions and values.
Stop limiting conversations to "how's the weather." Go listen to Spanish Flamenco guitar music and feel its passion and melancholy; watch how Argentinians go wild for football and understand that sense of national pride.
Of course, discussing these topics with a new friend might become a bit choppy due to language and cultural differences. At such times, a good tool can help you break the ice. For instance, a chat app like Intent, with its built-in AI translation, enables seamless communication with people anywhere in the world. When you come across an idiom or cultural reference, it can help you understand in real-time, ensuring the conversation flows without interruption and allowing you to truly dive into the other person's world, rather than just hovering at the doorstep.
3. Listen to Their Stories, Not Your Translations
Find a book written by an author from that country, or a film directed by someone from there. Settle down and experience it in its entirety.
Note, not those "simplified readers" adapted for language learning, but stories they wrote for their own people.
In the stories of Argentine writer Jorge Luis Borges, you'll witness a nation's philosophical reflections on time and destiny. In the films of Spanish director Pedro Almodóvar, you'll see the intense, complex, and vibrant emotional world of ordinary people.
These stories will give you a profound insight that textbooks simply cannot. They'll make you understand that behind every word you learn, stands a living, breathing person and a piece of real history.
Stop "studying" language as if it's merely a task to be completed.
Language isn't a subject to conquer; it's a door to a new world. Its ultimate purpose isn't to score high marks on an exam, but to be able to sit down with another interesting person and truly have a conversation.
From today, put down your "recipe" and start truly "savouring" it. You'll discover that once you begin to understand the culture behind the language, those words and grammar rules that once gave you a headache will naturally come alive, and you, too, will finally be able to speak confidently.