Don't Let 'Making Friends' Ruin Your Study Abroad Dream: A Simple Analogy That Will Open Your Eyes

Have you ever scrolled through your phone, looking at those beaming photos of friends under the sun abroad, feeling a mix of longing and apprehension?

You long for that sense of freedom, yet you're apprehensive about dragging your suitcase and landing in a strange city, only to find your phone contacts, besides family, consist solely of your education consultant. What you fear isn't just loneliness, but that helpless feeling of 'the opportunity is right there, but I can't seize it.'

If this strikes a chord with you, let me tell you this first: the problem isn't with you. It's that you've overcomplicated the idea of 'making friends.'

Making friends abroad is like learning to cook a new dish

Imagine walking into a brand-new kitchen. You see spices you've never encountered before (classmates from various countries), peculiar utensils (an unfamiliar language), and a cookbook you can't decipher (the local social culture).

What would you do in such a situation?

Many would choose to stand rooted to the spot, clutching their old recipes from home, staring blankly at the unfamiliar ingredients, thinking: "Oh god, how do I even begin? What if I mess it up? Won't that be utterly embarrassing?"

As a result, time ticks by, minute after minute. Everyone else in the kitchen starts enjoying their meals, while you're still hungry, sighing at those ingredients.

This is the predicament most people face when socialising abroad. We always yearn for a "perfect social recipe"—a perfect opening line, a perfect timing, a perfect version of ourselves. But the reality is, in a completely new environment, there is no perfect recipe.

The real solution isn't to wait, but to embrace your role as a curious chef, and boldly start 'experimenting.'

Your Study Abroad 'Serving Up' Guide

Forget those rigid frameworks that cause you anxiety. Try approaching friendship with a 'cooking' mindset, and you'll find everything becomes much simpler.

1. Find Your 'Shared Interest Kitchen' (Join Clubs/Societies)

Cooking alone can be lonely, but it's a different story with a group. Whether it's a photography club, a basketball team, or a board game society, that's your 'shared interest kitchen.' Here, everyone uses similar 'ingredients' (common interests), and the atmosphere naturally becomes relaxed. You don't need to think of any opening lines; a simple "Hey, that's really cool, how did you do that?" is the best start.

2. Go 'Food Tasting' at the 'Local Market' (Attend Events)

University parties, city festivals, weekend markets... these places are like bustling 'food markets.' Your mission isn't to whip up some groundbreaking gourmet dish, but to go 'food tasting.' Set a small goal for yourself: today, I'll greet at least two people and ask a simple question, like "This music's great, do you know which band it is?" Take a bite; if you don't like it, move on to the next stall. No pressure at all.

3. Create a 'Shared Dining Table' (Live in a Share House)

Living in a share house is like sharing a large dining table with a group of chef friends. You can cook together, share your respective countries' 'signature dishes,' and chat about what you 'messed up' at university today. Amidst this everyday hustle and bustle, friendships will deepen like a slow-simmered broth, becoming rich and flavourful without you even realising.

4. Learn a Few 'Magic Seasonings' (Learn Their Language)

You don't need to master eight languages. But just learning a simple "Hello," "Thank you," or "This is delicious!" in your friend's native language is like sprinkling a pinch of magic seasoning into your dish. This small effort conveys unspoken respect and goodwill, instantly bringing you closer.

Language Barrier? Here's a Secret Weapon

Of course, I know that during the 'cooking' process, the most headache-inducing utensil is 'language.' That frustration of having a head full of thoughts but being unable to express them fluently can be truly draining.

In such moments, having an instant translation tool is like equipping your kitchen with an AI assistant. This is where chat apps with built-in AI translation, like Lingogram, can make a difference. They help you break through language barriers, allowing you to focus more on the content and emotion of your communication, rather than painfully searching for words in your mind. It makes the 'recipe' in your hand clear and easy to understand, significantly lowering the difficulty of 'cooking.'

The Best Friendships Are Those You Cooked Yourself

Dear friend, stop pacing anxiously at the kitchen door.

Your shyness, your imperfections, they are not the problem. The only problem is your fear of 'spoiling the dish' that keeps you from even starting.

Step into that kitchen full of infinite possibilities. Pick up those novel ingredients. Be bold in trying, combining, and creating. There might be some awkward 'failures' along the way, but so what? Every attempt is an experience gained, paving the way for the ultimate delicious feast.

Remember, what you'll cherish most from your study abroad experience will never be that perfect report card. It will always be that grand 'Friendship Feast' you cooked with your own hands, filled with laughter and memories.

Now, dig in!