8 Ways to Say "Sorry" in Chinese (and when to use them)

In any language, apologizing is an important art. While "Duìbuqǐ" (对不起) is the most direct way to say sorry in Chinese, there are various ways to express apology depending on the situation, from a slight "excuse me" to deep regret. Understanding these nuances will help you express your apologies more accurately and appropriately in Chinese conversations.

Understanding the Nuances of Apology

1. 对不起 (Duìbuqǐ) – The Most General and Direct Apology

Meaning: Sorry / I apologize.
Usage: This is the most common and direct way to apologize, suitable for most situations, whether it's a minor oversight (like accidentally bumping into someone) or a more serious mistake. It's the go-to phrase when you need to say "sorry."
When to use: Any situation requiring an apology.
Example: “对不起，我来晚了。” (Sorry, I'm late.)

2. 抱歉 (Bàoqiàn) – A Slightly More Formal Apology

Meaning: Sorry / Regret.
Usage: A bit more formal than "Duìbuqǐ," often used in written communication or more official settings. It can also express a general sense of regret or pity for a situation.
When to use: Formal occasions, written communication, or expressing regret.
Example: “对此给您带来的不便，我们深表抱歉。” (We deeply apologize for the inconvenience caused.)

3. 不好意思 (Bù hǎoyìsi) – Slight Apology or Interruption

Meaning: Excuse me / I'm sorry / I feel embarrassed or awkward.
Usage: This versatile phrase expresses a slight apology, embarrassment, or awkwardness, often when you're causing a minor inconvenience, interrupting someone, or drawing attention to yourself. It's frequently used when asking for help or interjecting.
When to use: Causing slight inconvenience, interrupting others, asking for help, or feeling a bit awkward in a social situation.
Example: “不好意思，请问洗手间在哪儿？” (Excuse me, where is the restroom?)

Expressing Deeper Regret

4. 实在抱歉 (Shízài bàoqiàn) / 万分抱歉 (Wànfēn bàoqiàn) – Extremely Sorry

Meaning: Truly sorry / Extremely sorry.
Usage: These phrases emphasize the degree of apology, indicating that you are very, very sorry or deeply regretful.
When to use: When you've made a relatively serious mistake or caused significant trouble to the other person.
Example: “实在抱歉，我把你的文件弄丢了。” (I'm truly sorry, I lost your document.)

5. 我的错 (Wǒ de cuò) – Admitting Fault

Meaning: My fault / It's my mistake.
Usage: This directly admits it's your mistake, conveying a sincere tone and taking personal responsibility.
When to use: Admitting you've made a mistake and are willing to take responsibility.
Example: “对不起，这是我的错，我不该那样说。” (Sorry, it's my fault, I shouldn't have said that.)

6. 请原谅 (Qǐng yuánliàng) – Asking for Forgiveness

Meaning: Please forgive me.
Usage: After offering an apology, you further request the other person's understanding and forgiveness.
When to use: After making a mistake, hoping for the other person's understanding and pardon.
Example: “我不是故意的，请原谅我。” (I didn't do it on purpose, please forgive me.)

Apologizing for Causing Trouble

7. 给你添麻烦了 (Gěi nǐ tiān máfan le) – I've Caused You Trouble

Meaning: I've caused you trouble/inconvenience.
Usage: Expresses that your actions have caused trouble, inconvenience, or extra work for the other person. It's a considerate way to acknowledge the burden you might have placed on them.
When to use: When your actions have caused inconvenience or extra work for others.
Example: “真不好意思，给你添麻烦了。” (I'm really sorry, I've caused you trouble.)

8. 我错了 (Wǒ cuò le) – Admitting Mistake and Repentance

Meaning: I was wrong.
Usage: A direct and often heartfelt admission of a mistake, expressing repentance. This phrase is commonly used by younger people to elders (like children to parents) or within intimate relationships, signifying genuine remorse and a willingness to learn.
When to use: Admitting a mistake and expressing willingness to correct it, particularly in contexts where sincerity and repentance are key.
Example: “妈妈，我错了，下次再也不敢了。” (Mom, I was wrong, I won't dare to do it again next time.)

Mastering these ways to apologize will allow you to handle various situations more gracefully in Chinese conversations and maintain good relationships. Remember, a sincere apology is always the most important thing.